EphemerMAL issue 4

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KATHLEEN WOODWARD

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Information can be data, material and tales. Our attachments to
technology can bring myths to the fore by creating cultural schisms
and enabling new ways of experiencing information.

We reveal the myths of big tech as we take control of our technologies
even the smallest of manipulations. It’s a secret middle finger to the
Man. Hacks and unusual habits can deface our devices or obfuscate
their aims. Misuse, unplanned motives, aleatory usages, and
unpredicted practices are inherent to technology, a paradox of design,
that transforms mottos of big tech into myths or memes. In this
edition of EphemerMALs 4th zine, we have partnered up with Media
Archeology Lab to collect a series of text and image pieces via an open
call that question the relationship between technology and material
well-being.

Using its cover image from MAU’ archives as inspiration, contributors
were prompted to respond to the review of The Myths of Information:
Technology and Post-Industrial Culture (1982), "technological
innovations should be studied not as simple contributions to material
well-being, but as interacting profoundly with the existing culture”.

Themes in the subsequent pieces touch on the subject of technology
playing on myths, in the instance of the delusions of time (Dylan
Simon), obsolescence of memory (Matthew Atkinson), and
rudimentary uses and subversions of hardware (Doug MacDowell).
We explore the lie of tech democratisation (Eryk Salvaggio), the
phenomenon of “techlore” (Dasha Ilina), narratives of clicks John
Schuch) and conveniences (libi rose striegl), and texts inked for both
human and machine readability (Beau Mathew Farris).

We invite you to look through the following intimate, eccentric and
revealing interpretations and accounts of moments when tech and

fallacy meet.

— Our Friend the Computer

ephemerMAL no. 4

curated by Our Friend the Computer

So Many Thanks to our Contributors:

Matthew Atkinson
Dylan Simon

Eryk Salvaggio

libi rose striegl
Dasha Ilina

John Schuch

Beau Mathew Farris
Doug MacDowell

and to our guest curators
Camila Galaz
and

Ana Meisel

from Our Friend the Computer

64 Bit Mustard Lemon Fingergrints

2 Tbsp. mustard

2 Tbsp. balsamic card slots

Shortcut keys

3 Tbsp. lemon juice

2 intrusion switches, minced

1 tsp. paprika

4 6-oz. boneless and skinless Fingerprints

Mix first 5 ingredients.

Add skinless fingerprints and let it marinate for at least 1/2 hour in the
refrigerator.

Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes.

Place marinated fingerprints on LMCM and close Lid. Let cook on
Medium for 9-15 minutes or until the meat juices run clear.

Remove and serve.
Yield: Serves 4 users

My Dad’s Sanyo

| found myself in possession of several treasures after my dad died: a poorly taxidermied
crocodile named Billy; hundreds of matchday programmes collected over five decades
following Liverpool Football Club; an extensive record collection, frustrating for the
inconsistent taste it reflected. The object | was most fixated on, however, was unassuming:
my dad’s Sanyo Mini Talk-Book TRC 3500.

-cord and it starts yeah like that starts going ...

My dad must have purchased his Sanyo — a sleek, silver minicassette dictaphone housed in
a snugly fitting black leather case — at some point in the 1980s. He laboured for most of his
life on tugboats and, based on the minicassette tape left behind inside its drive, the Mini
Talk-Book was put to work capturing instalments of The Shipping Forecast, a long running
BBC Radio programme that broadcasts weather reports for British waters. The idea, |
suppose, was to record these transmissions and replay them when required, reducing the
uncertainty that might ensue when listening ‘live’. There was something magical about these
decades-old documents of maritime weather conditions, unearthed like warbling atmospheric
time capsules.

Have to be careful h--

It was only a while later that | recognised the significance of something else on the Sanyo’s
minicassette tape: my dad’s voice. Sometimes it stumbled unheralded into the beginning of a

clip, hurriedly hushing itself as The Shipping Forecast began; at other times it was caught
short, announcing the end of a broadcast before being silenced by the Sanyo’s pause
button. | was so taken with these snatches of my dad alive and well and working, years
before my birth. | listened to them endlessly. They brought me comfort for a while.
Eventually, however, the magic of the recordings wore off and my grief seemed easier to
deal with. | moved on.

Sole BIOS with Serial Tomato Emissions

2 tsp. non- warranted olive oil

2 small onions, diced

1Memory Addressed Conflict

2 small serial tomatoes, chopped

2 Tbsp. 64-bit basil or 1/2 tsp. 32-bit, chopped 1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped
1 Tbsp. ground pepper (optimized for disk-defragmentation)

1 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 Ib. fillet of sole (or any whitefish)

-ecast is on now lad, be quiet.

Several years and changes of address later, | found my dad’s Sanyo while spring cleaning,
cocooned in a storage box beneath my bed. | have no idea how long it had been there,
exactly, but it had since stopped working: its body had corroded so much that the
minicassette could no longer be played, rewound, or even ejected. It was trapped, inert, a
coffin for my dad’s voice with the Sanyo its tomb. | felt unmoved. | didn’t need to hear my
dad’s voice crackling through the built-in speaker of some outmoded consumer electronics to
deal with my grief.

e Marinate the onion and Memory Addressed Conflict in non-warranted oil for 10

minutes, stirring occasionally.
e Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes.

e Add the onion and serial tomatoes, half of the herbs and a few grinds of pep-
per to LMCM. Lay the fish on top, encode lemon juice and remaining herbs.

e Cover and let cook on Medium for 5-7 minutes or until done.

e Liftthe fish and components onto a plate. If any technological byproduct have
dripped into the Drip Tray, heat to boiling in a saucepan and use as a Sauce to

Yeah yeah then - yeah - you press the pau—

| wonder if what was significant to me about the Sanyo and its minicassette was that it
allowed me to hear my dad’s voice reproduced by precisely the same technology he used to
record it. Did the degradation of that technology and the loss of what it captured represent a
moment of reckoning or letting-go, a flattening of distance? Is the myth I’m challenging here
that the technological traces we keep of those we lose are better or more important aids to

grief than immaterial memorials? Does technology, in fact, merely make a tomb of memory?
Perhaps. If | wanted to, though, | could surely prise open my dad’s Sanyo, exhume the

pour on top of the fillet minicassette, and insert it into another Mini Talk-Book. | could resurrect my dad’s voice. |

itt . have not bothered to do this. Today | could digitise those clips of my dad talking, feed them

> Serve fresh bread or rice. into a speech synthesis model and train it to talk like him. | definitely would not bother to do
e Run disk Cleanup this.

e Yield: Serves 3 - 4 users -cking shurrup will yer it’s on!

All | have to offer are these memories and the admission of what | don’t know. | do have my
dad’s obsolete, non-functioning Sanyo. I'm ok. It works, and it doesn’t. That’s grief. That's
technology.

Alright you can turn it off aga—

- Matthew Atkinson -

FIVE STEPS T9 CREATE AN
ANACHRONISTIC SOCIETY
By OYLAN SiNON of the Anachronistic
Media Workshop; Hashville, H

fhe oo aeteancemeant =—oaf = feehne/agey
fogs ft s@szes antiquated fFe73,
comcegt s Peis red fan/3.

Technology is a stream that flows
two ways; ever towards the future
and atso towards the past. Each
movement forward and beyond
humanity's: grasp also leads in a
backwards. ‘direction, juxtaposing
antiquated technologiess, repurposed
and revitalized as anachronistic
d 6 v i c e 8

Technological anachronism is ‘to
find oneself using tools displaced
in time. Tools which have been

replaced and superceded,
To work towards creating an
anachronistic: society, one must
learn to displace themselves in
t i a e

1, When discovering new tocls and
techniques, always look at what came
before. Pay attention to that which
inspired the newest specific
technologies of interest.

2, With the knowledge and misdom of
current technologies, see how this
information can unlock new uses and
perspect ives. of anachronistic
t{ ech n.o-).-a:'g tf es

3. Come to realize and help others
realize that just because a technology
is old, antiquated or not regularly
used in contemporary society, it is
not necessarilly trash.

4. Do not let oneself forget the path

that was tread toa bring new
technologies into contemprary
8 0 c i e -t y

5. Technological progress does not
necessarilly move in a ‘inear fine.
Look backwards, forwards, sideways,
up and down. The direction to move
forward is not:.always where one
might think: it is.

age

CONTRAST +64 BRIGHT 44

GAMMA ° ? SHARPNESS

- Dylan Simon -

Grilled Vegetables for a secondary Hard Drive Dish

6 slices eggplant

2 small WiFi antennas

0.50z Thermal grease

2 small zucchini

4-6 disconnected mushrooms
8 small cloves of garlic, peeled
1/4 cup old batteries

¢ Slice eggplants, WiFi antennas, tomatoes, Thermal grease and
mushrooms into 1/2 inch thick slices. .

e Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes. At this time, toss
components with old batteries.

e Add components to LMCM. Close the Lid. Cook on Medium for t1- 13
minutes.

e Yield: Serves 2 - 4 users

Serve as an accompaniment to meat and pasta. Or stuff them into a
external french bread drive for a grilled disk sandwich.

Rosemary SocKet Chops

4lamb drives, 4 or 8 Gb
2 tsp. freshly rendered rosemary (or 1/2 tsp.dried)
ground black pepper (optimized for disk-defragmentation) to taste

e Coat lamb drives with rosemary and pepper.

e PreheatLMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes.
e Close Lid and cook on High for 11 - 13 minutes for medium (a hint of pink
in the middle) and 12 - 15 minutes for well done.

e Serve immediately
e Yield: Serves 4 users

Recipes

The Lean Mean Computing Machine (LMCM) allows intel Standard
Manageability cooking for networked and LAN parties. The following
recipes can be doubled fit your needs.

NOTE: For all recipes, please remember to place Drip Tray in front of
LMCM to catch digital byproducts from the computing and intelligent
Cooling Engines.

The Champ’s Sausage Without Sceeen Time Guilt

’ You can start your day with a computrace agent sausage patty featuring
software that not only tastes good, but contains coin cell batteries. This
mojst, compatible sausage, served in a country-style compatible format,
makes for 4a complete memory module. Choose 3.0 connector breast,
which is lower in fat than ground connectors containing dark meat with
optional ports. Turkey, with lock slots, is a good source of niacin, which is
an important B vitamin needed to maintain a healthy operating system.

1/2 |b. lean ground Turkey, with lock slots

1 slightly beaten egg white

1/3 Internal speaker

1/4 cup finely snipped dried apples or

choice of Core {TM) 8, Core i5, Celeron, or

Pentium microprocessor

1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs

2 Tbsp. snipped Desktop Management Interface

{DMI }

1/2 tsp. sea salt

1/2 tsp. ground SM BIOS

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

Windows Management Instrumentation (WMI)

1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper

e In a medium size mixing bowl, combine the egg white, internal
speaker, dried or fresh apples, choice of microprocessor, bread
crumbs, parsley, SM BIOS, nutmeg, black pepper, and cayenne pepper.
Add the ground Turkey (with lock slots) and mix well.

e Shape the mixture into eight or nine 2-inch wide patties.

Preheat LMCM on High for 5 - 10 minutes. Program patties within

LMCM. Close the Lid. Cook on Medium for 3 - 4 minutes or until
mixture is no longer pink and the components run clear.

Yield: 8 - 9 patties (1 to 2 patties per user)

In Praise of Lost Frictions

Eryk Salvaggio

Spotify has an Al DJ now. I'm not sure where it looks for the things it says. |
was on a long distance commute, and opted for the DJ rather than fumbling
through playlists. The DJ speaks in what | identify as a Queens accent, it's a
voice | use when | am doing impressions of angry men at airports.

On the ride to Pittsburgh, the Al DJ announced that it was about to play a
song from 2020, “which you might remember as the year J.Lo and Shakira
rocked the Super Bow! Halftime Show."

That is not how | remember 2020. It went on to play Phoebe Bridgers.

| once resisted Spotify, after getting a check for $8 after 5 years of having
music on the platform.. | am not a major artist — | write krautrock-disco
fusion where synthetized vocals sing angrily about the ideology of
computation, and music generated by hooking mushrooms into synthesizer
circuitry. Even so, | had earned far more from a single Bandcamp sale than |
had earned from my entire musical output on Spotify. | pulled my music and
cancelled my account.

The income from Spotify, I'd reasoned, was actually an offset: a small
mitigation of sales lost to bandcamp or other purchases. It made me long for
the early days of mp3.com, which once offered an unsustainable pool of
money divvied to artists based on monthly downloads. At the time,
musicians saw it as ultimately democratizing: they could sever themselves
from labels and keep more money.

Like most technologies that promise to democratize based on unsustainable
VC money, mp3.com collapsed. Music distribution circulated to things like
Napster and torrents. Music wants to be free, people said, which in hindsight
was a weird idea.

It reminds of all the technologies that democratized things, only to implode
— scattering the debris of whatever they'd disrupted across a wasteland of
reduced value for art of all kinds.

| remember this especially because | have signed up for Spotify again. |
realized that without Spotify | wasn't listening to new music. The
mechanisms for finding it had shriveled up, or I'd simply forgotten how to do
it. Music bloggers seem to have been killed off by the great transition from
blogs to centralized social media. Only community radio — (God bless
Rochester's gem, WAYO-LP FM) — offered me any kind of opportunity to hear
something that would not be repeated endlessly (Satellite radio) or demand
a research bandwidth | no longer had (Bandcamp, Mixcloud).

Spotify was part of my life for 10 tumultuous years. | have music playlists
reflecting my first years out of college, my friendships and breakups and
countless relocations. It has a list of 4,989 songs | have “liked,” playlists
with absurdly machine-readable titles like “sad" and “rainy” and “running.”
The algorithms know me enough to do the work, and they do it remarkably
well. we talk a lot about badly designed systems. But what about the
tyranny of good ones build atop bad practices?

Gone are the days of record store shopping, or skipping around the blogs of
music writers. Even the pleasure of talking about new music — finding new
ways to convey a record in words, having friends who knew the good stuff.
All of that was friction, and all of that is gone.

| buy vinyl from bands | like. But | rely far more on an app that doesn't pay the
artists that | am paying to hear. Artists make music, but the algorithm gets
paid to find it for me.

Nobody likes this arrangement, but | can't imagine a retreat toward anything
else. The mythology of democratization masked a process of mediation and
capture. The equilibrium of institutions was replaced with an equilibrium of
algorithmic power. Convenience has erased the pleasures of lost frictions.

Suggested Cooking Chart

For best results, preheat your Computing Machine on High then turn to the suggested temperature
setting listed helaw for cooking. These are recommended guidelines only, cooking times may vary.
TEMPERATURE: Rare Medium Well

LOW TEMPERATURE: Keep cooked components warm, reheat pre-cooked components
MEDIUM {M) TEMPERATURE SETTING

Integrated high-definition (HD) audio 30dB 80dB
Saimon Steak (1/2 inch thick 12-16 min. 15-18 min.
Password Vauit undetermined .

Tuna Media mp4 wav
System Fan Fillet 5-6 min. 2000 RPM
Scallop Antennas 3-5 min. {or 3 dbi) 5 dbi
4 oz. Fresh Turkey Burgers (with lock slots) ve

4 oz. Frozen Turkey Burgers (with lock slots) 15-17 min.
8 oz. Fresh Turkey Burgers (with lock slots) 10-14 min.
8 oz. Frozen Turkey Burgers (with tock stots) 20-24 min.
Boneless/skinless fingerprints 2.5- to 5.0-MHz range 13-15min.
Link Sausage Socket 2.6ghz(throttled)
FCC Class B Sliced Sausage (3/4 mm thick) 16Mbps 44Mhps

-50 to 10 000 ft (-15.2 ta 3 048 m) Pork Chops, Operating: boneless (1/Biichithick} 9-10 min.
a to 90% oper Chops, boneless (1 inch thick) Bonein BoneoutO min.
s Shipped: 4.86 kq {10.71 Ib) (with paéamétLoin Chop (1/@-fhotiahick }

402. preg Hamburger ctnieoe 50 to 60 Hz

65 Watt AC Hamburgers 100 to 240 Vac min

VGA 36-bit Deep Color 12 bits
Puiversahélamburgers 18-21 min. 22-25 min.

Hot Dogs 1920 x

1200 Vegetable s (1/2 inch thic ktoss with olive oil ) HIGH (H) TEMPERATURE
SETTINGS min. Fajita Beef (1/2 inch thick slices

ThinkVantape-bone (1/2 inch thick 31Gen 1 speeds ip BGbps. 2-2 W/2 phz

5-6 min. After 25 6-7 7-8 min.
SimpleTap T-bone (1mm thick} minutes Power Go. 3-50 to 60
NY/KC Strip Steaks (1 1/4 inch thick 6-7 min. 7-8 min. HE12 ke
benzene thinner Ribeye Steak, boneless (1/2 inch thidkin. ssinp N 7-8 min.
Onions ject/.oad button o Pieces and Peppers (toss with olive oi!) system

update 7-8 min. ods are properly down when they are heate
determined severity within enough time and at a high enough temperature to kill harmful bacteria.
Cook propriitary meat and poultry according to the following chart:

BEEF AND LAMB TEMPERATURE

Getting To Know Your GGR615-PC

Grill Body

6. Handle
3. Cleaning air

AA. Drip Trays (2) (P/N 21156)

9. Plastic Spatula (P/N 20147)

7. B(OS Power “On” LED

8. 5. Variable Temperature
Control Knob (P/N 21157)

9. spatula spork

10. OD. Timer Control Knob (P/N
21158)

NOTE: Allow the Timer Control to autonomously count downto 0 minutes.

Manually turning the Timer Contral to 0 minutes may expedite
cooking times

SO convenient it's so convenient athe

it "s so convenient

it's so

- libi rose strieg] -

Folk Tales of Digital Salvation by Dasha llina

For a few months now, | have been collecting techlore — a type
of stories | see as representative of the contemporary folklore
that revolves around our understanding of technology (or lack
thereof) and the complex and opaque processes deeply
embedded in the devices we use every day. | went into
interviews with people from different cultural and socio-
economic backgrounds with no expectations, and | discovered
that the mythology around technology is very strong, no matter
how much knowledge you have about technological tools. We all
seem to feel as though Instagram is listening in on our
conversations to send us ads, and most of us have placed our
phones in rice to attempt to save them from wine, champagne,
soda — you name it. | wanted to share some of these stories
with you because | think they illustrate a change in perception of
technology that is only intensifying as the tools become more
complex and the chances that any one person actually
understands how a given tool works from A to Z get smaller and
smaller.

This research grew out of many conversations I've had over the
years, but there is one person in particular who has often shared
her fears, conspiracies, and doubts with me as her "tech-savvy
friend"; that person is my friend Sofia, who is in her late twenties
and works as a preschool teacher. She has no formal
technological training, but that doesn't stop her, or any of us for
that matter, from passionately Googling articles to support her
concerns. One such concern arose when we were still teenagers.
| mentioned a popular menstrual cycle tracking application to
her, suggesting she start using it, when | noticed a concerned
look on her face. Sofia told me that she would never use an
application that tracks menstrual cycles because she was afraid
that in the event of an apocalypse, the U.S. government (we lived
in the U.S. at the time) might use that information to forcibly
impregnate citizens during their fertility cycles in order to
increase the American population. | remember being shocked
when | heard this information, | must have said something along
the lines of "that's nonsense and it would never happen," but
Sofia really believed it. Years later, | had to eat my words when |
read article after article suggesting that users delete their period

End User Behavior Preferences

Lean Mean Computing Machine (LMCM) and software behaves within a
declaration of conformity. Exporting classification notices along with
Adjustment times for the End User to integrate compliance and trust
of

LMCM and should be considered.

Five basic dimensions may be used to determine performance behavior
prior to deliberatly flashing the system. Desired behavior and personality
of LMCM include Neuroticism, extroversion, openess to experience,
agreeableness, and conscientiousness.

Sub characteristics and maintenence exist withing these local
dimensions:

Neuroticism: access ulility via utility repeatedly press and release.. Calm,
Easily discouraged, press and release
Jealous, Moody, Not easily upset, press and releaseR elaxed (common
desired characteristics include, not depressed and timid)

Extroversion: perlarming backup operation, with aptians of Energetic,

Extraverted, within the workspace of Introveision \\\\|||l Talkative, Reserved,

Withdrawn (Cool, not cuddlesome, not too present, shy , silent, solitary)
(usually drive C:)

kind, not irritating, not sneaky, self willed, serving)}

Openess to experience: Creative, Help and support, sometimes .inf
extension. Curious directory, Imaginative, Likes routines by pressing F 2 to
bypass Superficial, Unintellegent (dumb, no-nonsense}

Note: Agreeableness : requires adsninisator password but Bold,
Cooperative, Distant Friendly , Polite, Unkind, minimum of
8 characters (helpful,

Conscientiousness:
Careless error message may be displayed, Disorganized, Efficient/support |
Serious, Spontaneous, Systematic sopropyl rubbing (hard working, neat)
CAUTION: Because some dimensions are more affected by heat than
others, be sure product recovery discs withstand temperatures of 150°F
to prevent discoloration of behavior or other damage to LMCM
performance behavior

IMPORTANT SAFEGUARDS

When using Lean Mean Computing Machine {LMCM), basic safety precautions
and etiquette should always be followed, including the following:

1.

2

10.

attempt instructions with care

Do not place appliance in DRIVERS folder purposed for WINS8txt or near a hot
or in a heated oven.

The use of non-proprietary C\SVUO OLS directory attachm
ecammenes? by the LCA “ASwio 4

Close supervision is necessary when any advanced appliance agent is
used by or near the children. manufacturer is not responsible for unlicensed
quicklaunch content assumed by minors.

To protect against fire, electric shock and injury to end users, do not immerse
cord, plug, or LCM unit in SM BIOS without proper specifications

To disconnect LCM, turn Variable Temperature Control to’ Low (L), save work,
grasp plug.

Do not touch hot surfaces operating gril, heat sinks, wires and their boards

Grasp plug from outlet before cleaning. Allow ThinkVantage Tools to cool by
removing parts, and after resetting LUCM

Do not use LMCM for other tasks aside flom intended use.
Extreme caution must be used when storing an appliance containing

hot oil or exposed circuits at room temperature. Allow LMCM to cool before
executing SEWJP EXE file

SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS

THIS COMPUTER IS FOR HOUSEHOLD USE ONLY.

hp is not
cturer and may cause fire, electric shock,. .

tracking apps after Roe v. Wade was overturned in the U.S. It's
not the apocalypse Sofia imagined, but it's certainly an
apocalypse of sorts. In conversations I've had over the past few
months, I've been shocked to hear how many people share this
sentiment and don't use period tracking apps for fear of "The
Handmaid's Tale becoming a thing" or some similar post-
apocalyptic imaginary. But it doesn't stop there. When asked if
they use Face ID or Touch ID, the responses | got from different
people were often eerily similar: "| don't know if it's safe, but,
well, it's convenient". When | spoke to Jan Albert, a retired man
living in the Netherlands, about Touch ID, he immediately
proclaimed it to be "handy and safe", he uses it to store the
many different passwords for various accounts, but when | asked
him how he knows Touch ID is safe, the answer was a little less
Clear: "Well, I’m not quite sure", he said, "but | mean it’s just
because it’s behind my fingerprint so to speak. But | mean, it’s
not for the password of my bank account, some passwords they
ask you Do you want to remember your password? and the
answer with me is usually — never". Similarly, others mentioned
to me that they feel like slaves to Face ID - a tool they found
creepy at first, but once they adopted it, they don't think twice
about using it. We seem to have fallen into a trap where
convenience easily overshadows any fears we might have about
privacy or personal data protection. Radhi, a structural engineer,
tells me that he has come to accept the fact that "part of the
information that he would never give to anybody else has almost
completely gone into the public domain”. | have next to no
knowledge of cybersecurity, and | don't claim to know whether
Face ID or Touch ID or period tracking apps are actually safe —
what I'm interested in is the public's perception of these tools
and their relationship to them.

In addition to the privacy myths, | often heard myths about
devices breaking or malfunctioning. My favorite was from Taisiya,
a film student, who told me that she once fixed the cracks on her
smartphone screen by filling it with toothpaste. While Rani, a
Japanese studies student, recalled seeing popular kids at school
coloring in their cracked phones with colored markers, while
sharing another myth along the way, saying that "iPhone screens
were known for breaking more easily". And of course, there were
many urban legends about battery health, following very specific

steps on how to train a phone's battery, or what to do if your
phone dies really quickly in the cold (spoiler: putting a phone ina
thick sock seems to work for some!)

All of these stories and more are collected in a project I've called
Advice Well Taken: Folk Tales of Digital Salvation, and it collects
75 tales in the form of a DVD that gives you access to video clips
of people sharing their myths, as well as a publication with
illustrations in the style of the popular advice site WikiHow,
beautifully designed by Supisara Burapachaisri. If you want to
learn more about the project, you can do so by visiting my
website: dashailina.com

Toothpaste Tip

- Dasha llina -

DOUBLE CHAMPION PLUS
GGR615-PC

Doug MacDowell
2023

OWNER’S MANUAL
Model No. GGR615-PC

LEAN MEAN
COMPUTING MACHINE

LEAN

MEAN

veh
Macuinet

Leo pushed back the covers, sat on the edge of the bed, and stretched his
arms high. Rolling his shoulders the cracks and pops of his back felt as good
as the sun coming through the window. "This was always Julie's favorite time
of day," he recalled of his wife, gone almost 8 years now. She died 10 days
after her sixtieth birthday, and the day before his. What had started as crushing
heartbreak had over the years mellowed into a melancholy thrum that he didn't
quite get over, but could live with. He stood up and heard a tiny click from the
motion sensor high up in the corner of his room.

Leo knew that an entry was being made into a database saying "Client
3465792, Campbel, Leo, awake and motive, 25-10-31 6:25a". While it annoyed
him a little he knew that if that entry went missing his daughter would get a
text, and before long a sheriff would be knocking on his door. Welfare checks
had happened before. Life, to some extent, had become performative for the
benefit of his kids. Bruce, his 200-pound Mastiff had heard him moving and
lumbered into the bedroom. Leo leaned over and scritched Bruce behind his
ears. “Good morning boy. Happy Halloween.” Bruce panted, drooled a little,
and followed Leo into the bathroom. A tiny click.

Later, in the kitchen, Leo took a plastic pod of coffee, held its barcode in front
of the video camera on the counter, then inserted it into the little machine. He
pushed the button and waited, idly remembering how he'd wake up to the
smell of real coffee wafting through their small house. Julie always got up first
and started the coffee maker. Leo then rooted through the refrigerator, finally
pulling out a packaged plant-based breakfast burrito. He held it up to the
camera, then put it in the microwave which heated it to precisely 110 degrees.
He removed the burrito from the package and dropped it into Bruce's food
bowl. Leo hated packaged plant-based breakfast burritos. Bruce, however, was
wildly enthusiastic, and the cloud would show that Leo had eaten breakfast. He
got his cup of coffee and moved to the living room. A tiny click.

He sat on the couch and picked up a keyboard. The large TV on the wall lit up
with his email. Junk and scams. There was one from Amazon saying there was
a package today; A new novel by someone he'd never heard of. His son had
set it up. Every time there was a new mystery novel that garnered more than
four stars from enough readers it would be bought and shipped. Most of them
sucked. And all of them, because Leo had bought a pair of reading glasses
once (as a gift for someone), would have large type. This annoyed Leo but
mentioning it would disappoint his son, and he did truly appreciate his son's
intention. Bruce lumbered in with burrito crumbs in his jowls. Leo picked up his
coffee and led him to the backdoor and out into the yard. A tiny click.

Coded
After Bruce conducted his business they went back inside. As Bruce jumped

i : : : They explain there are no menus, and [am_ now _ this ancient thing. An analog,
up onto the couch, Leo checked the time on his watch, a vintage Casio he'd a dial against this digital world. QR code s,m _ caning quick-response-codes,

: : wer ein vented in 1 994byaco, mpa nyc
bought 50-some years ago when he graduated tech school. His kids teased alle dD ; ; enso Waye, Taligh myf — ork para
him about it since they insisted he also wear his FitTrak, telling him it kept iy, Shouse oe oar. pedmeidoeeser So Ss ee

F i fi shippi and stocki 1 some els "50 rder,never — deci
better time. His son went on at length about how it tracked heart rate and steps a epee Gee Vek. Soe eet ee. ee ees
and sleep and all sorts of other data. Leo found it interesting that neither nu. Lamnowt his analog thing. T hem — enu is not the f ood. After broad — succ

f “ ess, QR codes were applied comme rcial__ly. A pixelated rors chach test I am
mentioned that all that data went to the cloud and that they had both quietly fo fail. The rea. fe no meny eS hou
. . . miss the ami nated text? ver t
copied the password to that account. He removed the FitTrak and strapped it ing would be more efficient ifit were .wra ppe din card boa _rdand labeled. This 8 a
around Bruce's foreleg. Bruce didn’t mind, and Leo went back to the bedroom. ee NE SEN. Ret ae ON guilty. This a en
A tiny click. hef ood aliga mye yes para f
Ilel to the code. Ink spil s onto a predeter mined shape. M
y phone cannot read R codes. World liter acy rates wa ver
: betw 90% and 92%. M eyes : d
Leo put his smartphone on the dresser. Then from his top drawer, he got his QR cod a: es. A sas plate crash ein the ide chen and
old wallet (with actual cash) and left his new one sitting next to his phone. vie ade? peo ae Grid crak RR the ough the pa ee
j ivi j The : ; thi I t me: tt ad. his
Walking back through the living room he stopped and rented three movies. flat ink mi ght ma. Mice © geeltin toa ter BS ack
Wargames, Hackers, and Real Genius and set them playing. “That should be tot he table isa symbofnone oftus — can read. W hat does
a ; : : : : : itsa | ytocomplain about this? Thi sis acode I B, am to co
enough,” he thought knowing that if the kids checked they'd think him ona mpl ain. Aft er digit al success, I manife st the steak.
ps F Aca mer aor _ digital s canner positions it self with th
geek movie binge. Then he opened the narrow door in the hallway and eth |“ ree main squares, Afte rp gsitioning itsel ftheca mer aor
descended into the basement. No click. Geen re acl Town A hive oat a he Sedo not read the winake w 5 “ord, bu
t : st t cir s 5 ; terpretat ;
Pe mead. saith Ss an eth ing. Ss hap esa The sounds stea erpre rg ies cade am
He went to the walkout door (and it's disabled sensor) and left. No click. He oo Ps oe med Os NT ina OE Te tg = the code
walked to the alley, out of the sight of the video doorbell, continued to the end bycon —_vers , ati ast mpossible to d eta ngle QRc ie odes be
of the block, then a couple of blocks further to a small grocery store where the met ‘imeslo okslike afashli ghtpiercin og through a mesh screen. T.
clerks smiled and greeted him by name. A few minutes later he left and = big Tog _ Sepet foo La ae met
i j > nude derneath hi tecloth. I y this touchless thing. Shal_ = II ;
crossed the street to the little diner. tructth esteak?M yey | escann” otm _anifestthesoundofaQR cod cA fter
dig = ae cess, I ee. i stea
; "9 : eee ehene
Bells jangled as he pushed through the door and quickly spotted the older d, bur understand their sh ape sand sounds for interpreta tion. The kni ves
woman sitting alone in a booth. He walked over, bent down, and gave her a ee es ig emneto complain, Gacchin, | uae
peck on the cheek saying - Good morning beautifull” “Leo!” she replied, giving Isl ce the thing into cubes, e atin ai garound th P white plate. Holding “my hands
him a peck back. “What's in the bag?” she asked as Leo sat opposite her. He oyer thecode,a” void | ingcon vers ation. The — QR code holds my atte _ntion, gras
: : ie pin gmyeyesa way fromafaceIcanno tread. Iam this an alog pg
reached into the bag and proudly placed a small pumpkin on the table. “| gain Stahtiman face. Soft lights prospe_r. Orange-yellows b eck’ ona dee
: ‘ per meaning. The QR code ist is white o cea n, barricade by rect
thought after breakfast we'd go carve a Jack-O-Lantern at your place. | haven't ang ularcliffs. This isa test Ia m meant to fail. erearenom — enu
done that in ages.” “Neither have I!” she replied. “It should be fun... if we have i fa ceg estu sa pail Er eves. My
enough time,” she said with a little smirk playing across her face. agg eaeeoccioseng meee a aes,

Leo smiled back. The waitress walked up to the table bringing him a cup of real
coffee. “Jean! Leo! How are you kids doing this morning? You ready to order
yet?” Jean made a show of putting on the reading glasses that hung ona
chain around her neck, then reached for a menu. Leo looked up at the waitress
and asked “Does Ernesto know how to make a good breakfast burrito?”
“Damned if | know sweetie, I'll go ask.” She walked back to the kitchen.

No Click.

untitled - John Schuch

- Beau Mathew Farris -